Me and my boyfriend of 3 years are moving in together. Any advice?

Hi!


As I stated in the title, my boyfriend of 3 years and I are getting our own apartment together. Neither of us have lived with someone before. We're both in our 20's, both work full time, and I go to school.





Can anyone who's been in this situation offer me any advice or tips to keep our relationship strong and avoid the issues that arise when living together?Me and my boyfriend of 3 years are moving in together. Any advice?
Just rember, both of you are used to being on your own, so getting over the lack of privacy will be tough. Also, not everyone makes a good roomate. We each have our own tolerances on things like cleaning, noise etc. Just try to understand that both of you will have to make concessions.





SMe and my boyfriend of 3 years are moving in together. Any advice?
Make sure to keep time for yourself, don't think that u can't go shopping without him or that if he wants to sleep it doesn't mean its bed time for you. Keep the intimate part of your relationship fun also. living together can seem to take the fun out of sex, the truth is that now you can feel free to experiment more. and Don't hide your feelings if you feel u are the only one doing house work let him know and make sure u do your part too!
Decide now who is going to handle the finances...the bills, the checkbook. Are you going to keep separate accounts or have one jonit? Who is going to pay what and how much? Decide which chores will be done by whom and when, who will do laundry, cook, change the sheets on the bed, change the bathroom towels before they can walk to the laundry on their own.


Bottom line, communication is the key.
now that your gona see each other every waking


moment just make sure to keep the relationship


interesting. people tend to get too comfortable


and forget the things u guys used to do for each


other, apart. sort of taking it for granted. u will


really get to know each other. be prepared to adjust


to the things u didnt really wanted to know. there'll


be control issues. if u end up handling this well, you'll


be one step closer to a married life.
It's a great experience, but it's going to take some getting use to. As long as both of you are working and the finances are good and communication is good then you will be just fine. It's not easy though.
Communication, if/when there is a problem always talk things out, share the costs, and lots and lots and lots patience!!!
Money is the biggest problem, effective communication is the second. Best bet, establish three checking accounts, one for household expenses and one each for disposable. This is NOT a trust issue. Establish some reasonable rules as if you were just ';room mates';. Learn to ';fight fair';. Fight isn't bad, it is a form of communication, but fight fair. Luck.
You need to have common goals, establish good lines of communication. i.e. finances, cleaning...etc.
dont shop ..unless you do it with each other .. set one day were you two just have time with each other .. then things will be find
your post 2 years from now:





';my live in bf of 5 years won't marry me. do i dump him and marry the first guy that comes my way? but i still love my lame @ss bf.. what do i do???';
decide on house chores who does what/when








you dont want to be his mama
yeah....





1. Don't do it!





2. Never, ever enter into a contract with someone who you are not married to. To some people, there isn't a whole lot of incentive to honor their part of the agreement if they are able to get up and walk away with no loose strings.





3. Keep your assets seperate. Do not combine money, names on car titles, etc..





4. Do not buy anything ';together';. If you want to buy furniture, make it yours or his.





5. Put into writing how rent and bills are to be split. Write it as if it were a prenup. If you happen to buy furniture together, put into writing again how it will be paid. Put everything involving money into writing.





6. Write out a budget that includes both your incomes. Decide if you two and truly afford the place or not (if you have two apartments, it may very well be much cheaper).





7. Talk about what would happen if you two broke up. Be realistic. It is very, very tough to live together as ex's. It is also unrealistic for one person to say ';I'll keep paying my part of the rent when I move out';.








In terms of keeping the relationship strong and preventing issues, either it will happen or it won't. Relationships are work. When you move in together or get married, things that were a small annoyance before become 10 times worse because you have to deal with it every day, all day.





Moving in together is a bad idea. It opens yourself up to huge financial risks if the other person ends up not being trustworthy or even if something happens that is not their fault (lose their job, become disabled, etc). If you are ready to play house, I would make sure you are able to make it on your own in case he leaves. I'd also bring up the marriage question and see where he stands on that.





I'm not just taking out of my a**. I've been where you are. I was engaged and moved in with my fiancee and one of her friends. We were dating about 3 years at that point. She left me for another guy and skipped out on the lease. The other roomie quit paying the bills, including the rent (though she kept sending my rent check in, so I had no idea anything was wrong until I got a lawsuit for back rent and an eviction notice). As I was the only one with money and responded to the lawsuit, when the lawsuits started coming, guess who got left holding the bag? In the end, it costs me thousands to get myself out of the hole that was dug by everyone else except me.





Live and learn. As I said, I was young like you once too. You will believe you are different and it will last forever. Watch the People'c Court or go to the local Small Claims Court and watch the cases. I'm sure they thought it would last forever too.





I'd recommend being smart and avoid moving in together unless you have to.